“I wanted to write a lie” (Laymon, 2018 pg 1)

            Kiese Laymon”s book heavy is a memoir, written in the form of a letter to his mother. He begins the story by telling his mother that he wanted to write a lie. This quickly sets the tone for the upcoming story and the chapters ahead. By stating that he wanted to write a lie he is admitting that it would be easier on him and his mother. This illustrates the heaviness and harshness of his reality.

            In the first 62 pages he discusses relationship with his body. Throughout the book we see him struggle with body image to the point where he wondered what was wrong with him. We see him repeat the phrase “I hated my body” (Laymon, 2018 pg 47) he had internalized the idea that the root of his problem was his image. We see this when he discusses the topic of sex with Renata. He states “when she came over and didn’t choke me or ask me to keep it straight, I wondered what was wrong with me. I always assumed it was because my thighs and calves weren’t muscly enough. On those days when we she didn’t touch me, I didn’t eat or drink and I did calf raises and squats bathroom till I cramped.” Not only those this show his relationship with his body, it also shows the correlation between his relationship with sex, his body, and food. 

“my body knew the things my mouth couldn’t, and maybe wouldn’t express” (Laymon, 2018 pg 27)

            Ultimately, the first 68 pages are about the traumatic experiences Laymon body experienced and although he at the time was not able to articulate through words despite his mothers’ linguistic teachings, his body was telling that story for him.

Laymon, Kiese. (2018). Heavy. New York, NY: Scribner