Kiese Laymon begins opening about his early college experience at Millsaps College. Initially like most first year college students the change of environment can be very overwhelming to adapt to. Laymon was feeling the overwhelming stress of early adulthood while simultaneously enjoying the benefits/freedom that comes with it. Laymon was part of a work-study program, enjoyed writing parts of essays, and eating pastries. Despite having the capability to be an intellect, Laymon was constantly reminded to prove his worth. For instance in his English class he was falsely accused of plagiarism for using the word “ambivalent”(Page-122). Laymons responded by bringing several unrelated books to all of his classes. In hopes of letting his white peers know that he “read more than they would” (Page-123). I believe the concept of proving your worth that Laymon brought up can be applied to all aspects of life. The unfortunate reality of perceiving yourself as a person who hasn’t done enough can motivate some to become better versions of themselves but it normally leads down a destructive path. This is portrayed when looking at Laymon’s fear of participating in his classrooms, results in him coping with cakes. I understand getting/asking for help isn’t easy but I really wished someone could have reached out to Laymon.
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Hi Rosalio.
As you said, Laymon was experiencing the freedoms that come with being away from home for the first time, but also the struggles and stress of early adulthood for the first time. Due to the things that he was experiencing in school, like being accused of plagiarism, made him feel like he had to prove something to his peers and professors but at the same time, he was still rebelling in his own way. I wonder if he developed imposter syndrome while at Millsaps due to everything that he was going through. I agree with you that he should’ve gotten help for the problems he was facing, but that’s much easier said than done. Especially when it comes to minorities in general, we never want to admit that something is wrong even when our own friends and family can tell, and we see that happen with Laymon too. Hopefully being at a new school and away from the people who contributed to his problem allows him to acknowledge his issues head on.
Hey Rosalio,
As you said, I think Laymon was really struggling to build his self-worth in this stage of his life like any young adult. He has amazing writing skills but they are not acknowledged by professionals in his life such as his professors. His professor thought that Laymon who was black would not be able to use vocabulary such as ambivalent but instead use contractions. People can judge others not based on their inner qualities sometimes but by the perceptions and stereotypes, they have on the person. As mentioned in the book, Laymon’s peers mentioned how a black person at Millsaps can only be unintelligent or a rare genius.
Laymon experienced inner turmoils and Imposter Syndrome as mentioned by Ashley. But, he does not deal with them in a healthy way. I think oftentimes people in minority groups ignore their mental health. Mental health is seen as something only rich people can afford to do. For people in minority groups and Laymon especially, there is an expectation to succeed. When asked by family members how they are doing, they often hide their mental problems. Laymon does exactly that by lying to his mother that he “will be okay.” In reality, he is not and he is eating away his heavy burdens.