In the third section of the book, Laymon describes his experience in Millsaps college. His initial reaction was an overwhelming sense of freedom away from his mother. Laymon is trying to develop his sense of identity in this new environment. In high school, he hung around with people in his community and purposely use contractions to strengthen that identity. However, he was told by his surrounding peers that he should begin to use words like “fantastic” if he wants to blend in with the overwhelmingly white majority in Millsaps.
Laymon tries to make sense of the experiences in his life such as learning about patriarchy, feminism, racism, etc. He tries to make sense of them on paper but also in real life as well. Laymon tries to build up his self-worth through writing papers on Millsaps’ institutional racism which displeased many people, including his mother. I think in Laymon’s perspective, he is trying to make sense of why his mother who encouraged him to write for his people would ask him to stop writing. Laymon has always been a big writer throughout his life and he has experienced many things. Writing has been a way for him to internalize his experiences and use them in a way to uplift people in his community. I think Laymon is trying to build his self-worth in this way. Of course, we see that he still struggles with his self-image as he develops an eating and exercise addiction.