Tag Archives: OrdinaryGirls

The Pride of Survival

After years of instability and violence the pain and struggle caught up to Diaz. After another violent fight with her mother, Diaz took her mother’s pills in an attempt to commit suicide, but her mother found her and called an ambulance. After realizing she was still alive she said, “I am eleven and I am alive”(Diaz 149). The fact that Diaz was so young when she first tried to take her own life illustrates the impact the instability of her life was having on her mental health.

 The second suicide attempt was also due to an argument Diaz had with her mother. In the heat of the fight her mother said, “you are small, you are nobody, you are nothing” (Diaz 185). When Diaz began taking all of her mother’s pills her mother did not notice. This story shows both the fragile mental state of Diaz and of her mother. Her mother was having a schizophrenic episode and Diaz had a fragile state of mind that was pushed over the edge after her mother began both verbally attacking her and then physically attacking her with a steak knife. 

The years of instability from her mother’s condition and the violence led to Diaz dropping out of high school and moving out. When she realized she, “was failing at life” (Diaz 212) she decided to join the military. After her time in Boot Camp she felt true pride and accomplishment for the first time in the midst of a chaotic past. “The pride I felt when I crossed that finish line. How until that moment, I didn’t know I could be that strong, didn’t really believe I could be saved” (Diaz 228). 

Citations

Díaz Jaquira. (2020). Ordinary girls: A memoir. Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill.

Wikimedia Foundation. (2021, October 29). United States Navy. Wikipedia. Retrieved November 9, 2021, from https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Navy. 

 

Invisibility

In this part of the book, Jaquira Diaz is starting to grow up and is entering her teen years. Most of it takes place when she hasn’t even made it to high school, which I think is what Jaquira tries to highlight in the story. A common topic I kept noticing was invisibility. In many of these stories it is shown how unseen she is from her peers and loved ones. She can’t always control when she can be seen and unseen which may be frustrating for her as she wants to be recognized and appreciated but still uses invisibility as a means of protection. 

As she often spoke about wanting to be seen and heard from those closest to her, it didn’t seem to be that way whenever she was in school. She did not enjoy school as much and was almost never present, missing out on all her work. In one part of the book, she says “I kept my eyes on my notebook, doodling the margins, trying to make myself invisible, until my friends Boogie and China walked in” (pg. 114). This isn’t the first time she mentions this either. In another part of this section, Jaquira had a writing assignment she worked hard in about her personal experience with Hurricane Andrew. It was later submitted to a writing contest for “Miami Herald” and put on one of the school bulletin boards which she was all unaware of. She claimed to be unhappy about it and stated “I almost cried right there in the hallway, almost cried as I took off…” (pg. 137). When she gets to class she is teased by the entire class, including her closest friends about her being in Honors but them undermining her intelligence. It must have been a confusing experience for her as she finds out many had doubts about her, but she learns about her true potential. This is how her not always being in control of her invisibility to others could be frustrating since she was upset about her work being seen but later uses it as a learning experience.

Between my blog post and Zoe’s, our views on “control” in “Ordinary Girls” are both different and similar. We both talk about how Jaquira uses something that makes her feel in control. Zoe mentions how Jaquira has to endure abuse from her family members, both physically and mentally, especially from her mother and brother. She uses fighting as a means of protection just like invisibility. Zoe argues that this was caused by the instability of her mother. I, too, agree with this statement and feel Jaquira also just wants to be invisible so she can just avoid any more problems as she already is going through so much at home. Comparing our blog posts helped me learn the different defense mechanisms Jaquira uses to protect herself in the environment she’s in.

(2nd blog post for O.G)

Life in Puerto Rico

On pages 1-62, Jaquira branches out into many different topics and events in her life. The main stage in her life that she spoke about in this section was her childhood in Puerto Rico. From the way she described it, it was like the calm before the storm. The “storm”, which could be her growing up and facing even tougher challenges. Life in Puerto Rico was not perfect, but as she describes seems better than what she hints will happen to her in the future. She knew her homeland was still dangerous and her family wasn’t perfect, but she acknowledges that even with all the bad, there were still things she appreciated about her experience there. It reminded me of how people often hang onto the past and their childhood because they were still naive and unaware of what’s to come when they grow up. 

Something that really stood out to me was how the setting really plays a role in how Jaquira tells her story in this section. With Puerto Rico, you can easily associate the place with positive emotions and words because of her experience there. The words she uses to describe her surroundings and how she felt there can help you draw the conclusion that she was happier in an area she already knows. She often talks about her days playing as a kid in the sun with her childhood friends. Often bringing up the “warm” and “sunny” days spent doing what she enjoyed revealed what Puerto Rico meant to her. As for Miami, she describes the conditions she lived in as “…the kind of poor you could feel in your bones, in your teeth, in your stomach” (pg. 61) and also mentions what’s to show up in the next section of the book.

(1st Blog Post for Ordinary Girls)