Tag Archives: identity

The Ultimate Sacrifice

“Teaching wealthy white boys like him meant I was being paid to ratify Cole’s power. In return for his care, I’d get a monthly check.” (P. 191)

Kiese Laymon now finds himself to be an adjunct professor teaching at Vassar University. However, his demographic of students were wealthy white people who were the people he most despised. He finds it hard to find the passion and love to teach them as he feels like teaching them is enabling and continuing the unbalanced power dynamics between black and white people. Laymom then goes on to say that working for the white man in such a way is even worse than selling out and he feels as if he’s losing pieces of his newfound black righteous identity for a paycheck. A good teacher does more than just teach the subject they are assigned to teach. A good teacher is there for their students academically, socially and even emotionally. But it is hard to be this for someone that you don’t like as Laymon feels as if he’s getting paid to coddle wealthy cisgender, heterosexual white men, which is a big group that is responsible for the marginalization we experience today. When you have been oppressed for so long and then you end up having to be in a position where you cater to your oppressors, I can understand how that can be frustrating. In the end It all ties back to identity, with the big question being whether or not you want to sacrifice your values for a check, but on the other hand, you have to do what you have to do in order to make a living and provide for yourself and your family.

The Feeling of Home is like a Boomerang

Diaz did a lot of going back and forth in her life, and it’s reflected in her memoir. The way she goes between anecdotes parallels the way she went between homes and lives growing up. She went from living with her mom to living with her dad, and even between them they moved houses a lot. The people she hung out with differed depending on her age and where she was in her life; in school she had Flaca, Boogie and China, her marriage with Cheito, in the Navy she had Jones and G-mo (Diaz, 213, 222). After Mercy died, her feelings about her grandmother flip-flopped. When she first heard the news, she was reminded of the last conversation they had, in which they spoke to each other like they never had before. For her it was almost as if she was speaking with Abuela, someone she did have a good relationship with. When speaking with her little cousin before the funeral, Diaz learned that Mercy had a good relationship with her other granddaughter, one that was also Afro-Latina, described as having dark skin, eyes and hair. This made Diaz question why she never had a relationship like that with Mercy, and made her realize the similarities between her, her mom, and her grandmother. Her multiple suicide attempts were with her mother’s pills, whereas Mercy was found with five empty bottles of sleeping pills (254). In this particular section, Diaz does a lot of self-reflection on who she is, and what home is to her.

Boomerang