Tag Archives: expectations

Fairest: Social Norms

“And if she ever hid who she actually was, it was only so that she could be granted entrance into worlds she couldn’t otherwise reach, worlds that should rightfully belong to everyone, not just those who happen to uphold the prevailing standards of whiteness and womanhood” (Talusan, 2021, p.167)

As I was reading this week’s chapters, I was amazed by how Talusan— as the narrator, was opening herself to the reader more and more. Even though she still struggles to be open about herself to the people around her, I— as a reader— am able to understand why she’s having difficulty expressing her past. Obviously, when we hide something, we have a reason to do so, either good or bad. This quote had me reflecting about how many standards this world has. We all live on the same planet together, yet everyone in different locations have so many expectations whether about gender, personalities, or race. Talusan happens to struggle finding this sense of belonging. Born as a man, she’s supposed to be more masculine as society expects men to be, but she leans more towards being more feminine, which to her feels like she has to hide it from her family in order to avoid judgement.

I relate to her in finding this sense of belonging. I remember in middle school, I would see my classmates be so extroverted and open with each other, meanwhile, I was the quiet one. Even the teacher wondered why I didn’t talk a lot and asked me to join them on the dance floor in prom. I rejected her request and while I was sitting, I started questioning if I had to be someone like them in order to fit in instead of feeling like an outsider. Why did it annoy me every time someone asked me why I was so quiet? I didn’t know the answer during that time, but now, I know that it was because this made me feel like I needed to meet their expectations. I didn’t talk because I was shy, it was because I literally had nothing to talk about with the person. I didn’t dance because I was shy, it was because everyone on the dance floor wasn’t close to me in any way, so how could I feel comfortable to go there and dance? Sometimes, I did end up faking my personality to be this extroverted person people wanted me to be, but I knew that wasn’t me. I never enjoyed being that person. We shouldn’t have to be someone we’re not just to uphold the standards the people in this world want to consider “better.”

Citations

Talusan, M. (2021). Fairest: A memoir. Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition

*omar. (2007). Social Rejection. Flickr. Retrieved November 10, 2021, from https://www.flickr.com/photos/omernos/379393085/in/photolist-zwum6-2m3FxaT-2maBVzt-2kYWFFb-2iPq4SF-2jKwiXE-2kog9Bi-2jjpcrn-2iQtWbB-2m39P4e-2iuyGpx-2jTEYbo-2j8Rvvc-2iJTc2c-2jLuxDm-2jMrhM1-2iVHHqT-2iVDott-2jGDk65-2jMVh9v-2iNGvxH-2iTe11a-2jfHH2t-2ipz8sC-2ipz8ur-2jN6Pmv-2j9Nput-2hU2Rsj-2jggmVR-2iPs48L-2jLz28q-L2tkZd-2meVTHm-2ieoPoi-2jGgDFj-2jkhEom-2jCTR7p-2irgkgP-2ig9HZP-2igdenQ-4FDfqA-2jggmCX-2jACidm-2jDfSvN-2ig9J34-2hRpdAv-2hFNYZ9-2jQmCrY-2hJVJcC-2jQi5zu.

Gender Expectations Suck

Even today, the stereotypes and expectations for genders exist. Talusan had to continue to experience this as she continued and graduated from Harvard. These chapters focused on her dating (mostly hook up) experiences and her attempts to explore herself and what she wants when it comes to her femininity and the changes she feels after returning to the Philippines. While these chapters do lead to her thinking about being a woman (that she tries to push away since she thinks she should be happy at the moment), she never says she hates being a man. This conflict within herself is explored in greater depth as her thoughts of transitioning began.

Her happiness is interrupted with the thought of wanting to be a woman. It did make sense because she would express her desire to be more feminine and take the role of the woman in a relationship. However, on page 166, she says “Had I lived in a world where men were allowed to dress and behave like women without being scorned or punished, I wouldn’t have needed to be a woman at all.” (Talusan, 2020). Talusan expresses an interesting thought during this moment after she transitioned. She never stated once that she hated her gender. She only discussed society and how no matter what community, there is an expectation for men to be masculine. This expectation led to her to being obsessed with going to the gym and acting a certain way so that no one can judge her and take away any opportunities from her. As time went on, she allowed herself to be freer by dressing the way she wants and acting the way she wants. However, that never stopped her from feeling pressured to be someone she truly wasn’t. It would be easier to become a woman so that she can be feminine and not be judged for it.

This quote interested me because of how true it is today. While we claim to progress and be more open, we still have these expectations depending on what you have between your legs. I grew up with a father who wanted a masculine child (basically athletic, play sports, and can be the stereotypical guy). My brother and I weren’t that, but more so for me. This line made me think back to when I had thoughts of transitioning and It made me realize that if I could be who I wanted to be, not one of the guys but be one of the girls and learn everything feminine since it felt more right to me, then I wouldn’t have needed to think about it. Just a single line said so much to me as someone who had these expectations forced onto me. If I could didn’t get compared to other “men”, I probably would have accepted myself a long time ago.

Short, S. (2017). 10 steps to supporting a transitioning employee in your business [Online image]. face2faceHR. https://face2facehr.com/10-steps-supporting-transitioning-employee-business/

Sleepy Devil Vermilion. (2019). Ｔｈｅ Ｄｉｆｆｅｒｅｎｃｅ (Please Read. . ) [Online image]. Flickr. https://www.flickr.com/photos/xx_bd_hotshot_xx/48013067876/in/photolist-2g9Kwk7-2b4YU3y-25aGTSb-KVqd1a-9Vwm56-cqikzq-2kmT63P-7FVVyK-2mbr9cg-2jFi6QD-2mrodPc-2jQPBDJ-2jEYwuc-2jBxMRC-2k9K59Z-2ktN1t2-2jGFVH2-2msGNFg-2gge2it-RH1pEW-2i9YZT2-2kA8jF6-2ho5toi-2iLSRj4-2kAvasM-2kR3eL3-2jLr2g7-2kzPQjR-2dYL5ik-pwaZGv-gNwWL3-2gbbMFw-2kzr4Jn-2kBnjin-2m7k7u2-2huXJMF-2caJSAV-CDTK3h-2hpgetM-2gUdD2h-4U7WEv-2jqNJtr-oicu2d-2eQ76ZE-2hto6sZ-2hbLSLh-qm85hf-2hci248-xXfXk7-65jcfw/

Talusan, M. (2020). Fairest: A Memoir (pp. 150-229). Penguin Books.

Drawing of stick figure balancing on beam with symbols of male and female on both sides.
Confused about which side to fall on.
Ｔｈｅ Ｄｉｆｆｅｒｅｎｃｅ (Please Read. . )
“This is dedicated
to every human being
who looks different, feels different, and thinks differently.
I see you. I feel you. I am you.
Stay different. Our world needs
the difference we will make.” -Sleepy Devil Vermilion

Class 04: Face to Face!

Welcome to our first in-person class. We’ve got a lot on our “Chalkboard,” more than I expect us to get to on this strange, happy, rainy day.

Thanks to those of you who have already turned in your library assignments, and who have been participating in the Hypothes.is conversation on “La Otra” and “Quick Feet.” We’ll try to build on that a bit in class today and between now and Tuesday (on Zoom.) 

The main focus of this post will be the expectations blog posts and replies. Remember that in contract grading, your work is assessed as “complete” or “not-yet-complete.” To be marked complete, you needed both a post that followed instructions for content and format AND a reply to at least one peer who had not received at least two comments. 

Examples of posts that are complete include: 

  • Kevin (Weiting, Ashley) — “Hope for something different”
  • Yingrong (Zoe, Kevin) — “ENG 210- New Beginning”
  • Fatou (Rachel, Luis) — “Indicative Expectations”
  • Demetri (Fatou, Panagiotis) — “My Expectations”

There may be some others that have gone up or been completed since I checked this morning. 

Examples of work that needs an additional commenter: 

  • Zoe (Rachel) — “Hopeful Expectations”
  • Panagiotis (Yingrong) — “New Year, New Goals”
  • Weiting (Zoe) — “The Promises for ENGL 21002”
  • Spencer (Kevin) — “Pressed for Time –  My Course Expectations”
  • Yaminah (Demetri) — “Expectation Letter”
  • Ashley (Yaminah) — “Main Expectations”

And some work went up very close to the start of class, so has no comment trail yet, such as:

  • Luis (no comments) — “Expectations”
  • Rachel (no comments) — “Expectations for ENG 210”
  • Ashanti (no comments) — “My expectations in Learning”
  • Diana E. (no comments, published privately)

If you’ve posted and commented, then your work is done. If you have not done this yet, you can complete it within the next 24 hours. For now, there’s not a penalty. In general, this is the sort of thing that would lead the work to be marked ‘late’. We’re all still learning how to do things in this class so I want to be fair until we all get oriented. 

***

The class wrote a number of blog posts describing their expectations for the semester from their instructor, from each other, and from themselves. Many students commented on how stressful and unsatisfying emergency remote instruction has been. Quite a few expressed nervousness about being able to improve their writing. Most were excited to return to campus in person; no one expressed nervousness about that (though I wonder if some people are nervous). A few students set particular goals related to their field of study or to academic habits. Less than half the class completed the task on time. [This is an example of summary. Why?]

I was “moved” (to borrow the phrase from one student’s comment) by the honesty of these notes. At moments, students examined themselves (one called their work habits ‘lazy’), and at others they critiqued the attidues and approaches of their instructors. Most have high hopes to connect with their peers and with the material. I’m hopeful (to use another frequently deployed word) that our work will be fruitful as more voices join the conversation. [This is an example of response. Why?]

Two other great quotes that we’ll talk about over the next few class meetings:

  • “That is why I chose to have a class that is a hybrid because I am a very visual learner and I need in-person time to keep my head in the game.” This is an example of metacognition AND positioning.
  • “aspects of writing such as preparation, organization, and time management.” This is an example of concrete language
  • “I think all of us as writers have amazing ideas, but we don’t flesh them out.” This is an example of a claim. We’ll talk about that on Tuesday.

Expectations for ENGL 210

Dear Engl 210, 

I enrolled in this class as a requirement, but am eager to take it, nonetheless. I expect to be writing every day for the next few months, as I am taking a few writing intensive classes this semester. I look forward to it, but one thing I will need to get used to is sharing my work. I am a perfectionist and am thankful to live in an era where the backspace key exists, and I don’t have to erase on a typewriter. 

I am excited to learn as a group. It is proven that skills improve with practice, and the more we write and share, the more naturally it will come. I expect my classmates to be open to learning and sharing as well, and together, I expect to grow as writers and critical thinkers.

I haven’t taken an English class in over a decade but recognize the importance of expressing oneself through words in everyday life. I expect us all to be able to exercise patience and try to come from a place of understanding, and lastly, hope to be able to develop as communicators in deciphering the world around us.

Cheers,

Rachel

ENG 210- New Beginning

Dear all, 

I am excited and eager to be in this class with you all. We all came into this class with different backgrounds and experiences. Some of us are first-year students trying to adjust to the new college life while some of us have been through the process. Some of us have never been in a skilled English writing class while some of us have been through many. Some of us are thinking about pursuing writing more seriously in the future while some of us just want to know how to write decently well. Whatever the case is, I know that all of us are eager to improve ourselves through ways of writing. All of us want to become better critical thinkers and look into issues through different lenses. All of us want to sharpen our writing skills and never cease to stop our writing just because it is “good enough.” All of us are trying to do our best in this yet again new period of online learning. 

One of my main goals in this class is to be a better writer. I did not start writing at a higher standard until my junior year of high school when I took an English composition class. I learned a lot about writing but was not able to get a lot of personal feedback from my teacher during the pandemic and got a little “lazy” in the process. I think all of us as writers have amazing ideas, but we don’t flesh them out. I hope that we give each other helpful feedback and encourage one another to do our best. I know that I will do well seeing that I have such respectful classmates and a professor who is so eager to work with us this semester. I look forward to the wonderful discussion that we bring to the table. 

Regards,

Yingrong Yang

My Expectations

Dear fellow classmates,

When I enrolled into this course several months ago I did not know what to expect. However, after attending the first couple classes my expectations and excitement for this upcoming semester have grown. Firstly, I am excited to have some in person classes this semester. Due to Covid-19 the in person experience is something I have not yet experienced in college. For my expectations in this class I believe their will be many debates between each other as we try to break down each of the stories we read. I also expect myself to be enlightened into learning new ideas and opinions from my classmates and professor. Lastly, I expect my overall writing capabilities and my ability to break down text to be enhanced. All of these reasons have led me to be excited and optimistic for the future. I believe this course will help guide me in my future classes and endeavours.

– Demetri Tzanetatos

Expectation Letter

Dear ENGL 210,

I would love to have a close connection with you all. I am clear on what I want my objective to be for this course. First, I am more than willing to help you all in improving your writing skills. I hope that you are all open to help me and our peers to do the same. To my Professor, I hope that you’ll help guide us with tips and comments on what we should look for in the text. From myself, I expect to participate whether in the chat or with the mic to give comments or suggestions with honesty. In the end, I hope that this course will go smoothly and hope it becomes one of my favorites just like AP Literature and Composition was to me in high school.

Thank you for your time,

Yaminah D.

My Expectations in Learning

Dear Reader,  

In all honesty, I am not too sure what to expect from the class but what I mainly think is important is that I develop an understanding of the class. There have been many times I didn’t get to fully understand something during this whole online experience due to a lot of circumstances. This semester I am extremely hopeful that it will be different and believe that it will help me learn about myself and gain different skills. From what I know there’s a significant amount of research and reading that goes into writing for social science, just like most classes you must write in. And as it says in the name, you would have to be social too. I really hope to put those skills to use and improve on them. I believe this class could possibly help me in the future and might actually help me in the major I want to pursue right now, and also just help me with tasks in everyday life. Lastly, I hope that on my part and everyone else’s that communication won’t be as difficult, and we can understand each other. 

I look forward to what’s in store for this semester,

-Ashanti

Main Expectations

1 September 2021

Dear Class,

This semester we will be introduced to ways of improving our writing. For some of us this may be one of the few English courses that we will take, and for others it might be the first of many. This course will hopefully allow us to be able to get our points across clearly and also analyze things well. Writing is one of the few ways that we can communicate with others, and this course will lead to us becoming better in communicating through a social science lens.

Throughout the course of the semester I hope that we can strive to build a community. Hopefully, we are willing to listen to each other and prevent conflicts from arising. Since no one person thinks alike, we have to be willing to work through those disagreements that may occur. In some classes discussions get heated, and while that can be fun because it shows how passionate people are about a topic, I hope that this class will be a bit calmer, especially since it takes place so early in the morning! Overall, I think that if we can successfully communicate our thoughts I think that we will have a successful semester. 

Another expectation that I have is for Professor Dalton. While it’s obvious that everything can’t be explained concretely, I hope that he is able to guide us through this course so that we can do well in it. Although we need to put in the effort to succeed as well, it’s more assuring when we understand what is needed and wanted from us. Additionally, I hope that our student-professor relationship builds up to be a nice one and that we all become comfortable participating in class.

All in all, I truly hope that all of us can do well in this course, and that we can also learn how to use these new technologies efficiently! Somethings may be confusing right now, but with practice I’m sure that we can get the hang of it!

Here’s to a successful semester,

Ashley M