Tag Archives: Book Club

A women holding a mirror and closing her eyes. Her reflection can be seen.

Heavy: Identity & Social Expectations

In the second part of the book, black abundance, readers can see Laymon’s character development. We see his development as a writer when he began to use writing as a way to make sense of his life and what is going on around him. As he is revising, he is forced to sit down and reflect on those events.

Laymon is constantly surrounded by social expectations. As a black person in a predominately white private school, teachers and students expected him to be dumb. Laymon and his black friends would play into this by making up contractions and purposely saying them out loud. Laymon also faces social expectations as a black man to date a black girl instead of a white girl. His relationship with Abby Claremont was disapproved on both sides of the family and most likely race. It was interesting to see that Laymon was called a “sellout” by his friend as if his race was defined by who he dates and how he acts. Similarly, Taulsan also struggles with her social expectations as a male. As mentioned in Kevin’s Post on gender expectations, Taulsan was expected to be masculine. Hence, she would work out in the gym to have that idealized muscular body shape. Both Laymon and Taulsan tried to follow their social expectations but they are miserable as a result.

The Weight Of Reality

“I wanted to write a lie” (Laymon, 2018 pg 1)

            Kiese Laymon”s book heavy is a memoir, written in the form of a letter to his mother. He begins the story by telling his mother that he wanted to write a lie. This quickly sets the tone for the upcoming story and the chapters ahead. By stating that he wanted to write a lie he is admitting that it would be easier on him and his mother. This illustrates the heaviness and harshness of his reality.

            In the first 62 pages he discusses relationship with his body. Throughout the book we see him struggle with body image to the point where he wondered what was wrong with him. We see him repeat the phrase “I hated my body” (Laymon, 2018 pg 47) he had internalized the idea that the root of his problem was his image. We see this when he discusses the topic of sex with Renata. He states “when she came over and didn’t choke me or ask me to keep it straight, I wondered what was wrong with me. I always assumed it was because my thighs and calves weren’t muscly enough. On those days when we she didn’t touch me, I didn’t eat or drink and I did calf raises and squats bathroom till I cramped.” Not only those this show his relationship with his body, it also shows the correlation between his relationship with sex, his body, and food. 

“my body knew the things my mouth couldn’t, and maybe wouldn’t express” (Laymon, 2018 pg 27)

            Ultimately, the first 68 pages are about the traumatic experiences Laymon body experienced and although he at the time was not able to articulate through words despite his mothers’ linguistic teachings, his body was telling that story for him.

Laymon, Kiese. (2018). Heavy. New York, NY: Scribner