“These are the memories I want to keep: my mother, exhausted but happy, how carefree she was, how beautiful. How for those moments, before we knew that she was sick, the whole world seemed possible. How when I looked at her, I hoped that one day, I would be exactly like her. (pg 90)”
While reading about Diaz’s relationship with her mother and father, I came to a realization that everyone’s life is completely different, even if we are similar in some ways, we will always be different because we don’t go through the same experiences. Not only that but also, it was shocking to me how messed up it was that no matter what Diaz’s mother did, her father never really cared. He was in his own world and when Diaz’s mother threatened to take away his children, he never said anything about it. The way Diaz explained how different her mother was before she was sick felt very real. She described how happy her mother was before she was sick, running around chasing each other laughing, and how she felt like she could accomplish anything. She looked up to her mother and hoped to be like her one day. But after her addiction to drugs, Diaz’s greatest fear was becoming her mother. She didn’t want to grow up like her mother even though she had admired her for so long.
Hey Wei Ting, I really liked the quote that you brought up. It’s such a powerful and difficult comment on Diaz’s part, a reflection of the process of maturity. It hurts so much to see a parent you once looked up to and love for what they really are, or to watch them descend and refuse help from every corner. What hurts even more is, as you said, how Diaz’s father simply let it happened. He even encouraged them to just take it, and try to set off “the beast” so to speak, as little as possible. It’s simply horrible that their father would abandon them like that, we expect our parents to protect us and want the best for us, not to let us be abused simply because we want no part in someone else’s world.
Diaz definitely grew up in an increasingly unstable household. Her father more and more involved with the drug trade, her mother rapidly descending into addiction and schizophrenia. The abuse, the neglect, and the torment that went on in their minds is horrible. No child should have to go through that. As sad as it is though, we have to remember that this is all a true story, and everything happening here is real. Of course, this has a profound effect on them, and their development. I’ve been trying to make my blog posts themed around development in a mentally ill environment, as it’s something I can relate to. The question I can see arising out of this section is – what impact might this abandonment have had on Diaz’s view of both herself and her relationships with others. May it have had an impact on her relationships, such as with Chris?