While reading the first part of Ordinary Girls by Jaquira Diaz there was a recurring idea of belonging. Diaz explored her feelings of belonging in childhood through telling stories in relation to gender and race. The lack of belonging that Diaz felt in her family occurred when she was compared to her brother. In comparison with her brother, she often felt isolated because she felt that he was often favorited due to his gender. The connection that she felt with her father during childhood was complicated by the secret trips her father would take her brother on to La Plaza. He would not allow her to go to La Plaza because she was a girl and this reasoning caused a fit of anger and left her, “longing for something to lift this burden of girlhood” (Diaz 9). The strong bond that she felt with her father was hindered due to his beliefs about what girls should and should not do.
The lack of belonging in her family was also felt because of her race. Diaz often felt disconnected from the stories she read and the movies she saw. “I’d lie in my own bed, imagining myself in those movies, writing revisions of them that included characters like me” (Diaz 42). The characters in the stories were people that did not look like her and therefore she struggled to see herself in the stories and connect. This feeling was reinforced by the racist comments that were consistently made by her grandmother. When giving her a haircut, her grandmother cut her hair short like her father’s hair and antagonized her with comments about not being able to look like her white mother. “It wasn’t the haircut, she said, chuckling, it was my bad hair…Your father’s fault. Your father and his black family” (page 50). While her Abuela proudly displayed her darker skin tone and hair, her grandmother put her down and made her feel like she was less than. Diaz’s lack of belonging has a strong connection to the intersection of multiple forms of oppression, and in this section specifically, it was sexism and racism.
Citations
Díaz, J. (2020). Ordinary Girls: A Memoir. Algonquin Books.
Grande, R. (2019, October 29). Abused, Addicted, Biracial and Queer: Jaquira Díaz Is Anything but
‘Ordinary.’ The New York Times.https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/29/books/review/ordinary-girls-jaquira-diaz.html
Hi Zoe,
Throughout this post you often speak about the sexism and racism that Diaz experienced at the hands of her family. Despite initially having a close relationship with her father, his preference for her brother was very apparent and it made her feel isolated from the man she was once so close with. Not only is sexism something that she experiences from someone in her immediate family, she also experiences racism from her grandmother. Considering that all of this occurred when she was a child, I’m wondering how it affected her growing up. Especially when these actions and comments are being made by those who are supposed to love you no matter what, I can only imagine the emotional turmoil she went through. The fact that both her gender and race are usually susceptible to more oppression, shows that none of our identities go without interacting with one another. The experiences may be different but she is still experiencing modes of oppression from her family. It’ll be interesting to see if she speaks about these same things happening outside of her family.
Not only was this country built upon the ideology of racial superiority, but it was also built upon misogny, gender stereotypes and gender superiority. Its always been said womanhood is a huge burden, and even just being a girl in general has been looked down upon for years and years. For example the 1 child policy in China. Families were throwing away their daughters because they favor having boys so that they can carry on the family name, the legacy and so many other factors as well. Then to make matters worse, not only is she a woman, but a woman of color with a black father so she is looked down upon for having more afro centric features such as her hair texture which was considered “bad hair” by members of her own race due to the negative influence of standards created by white society.
Diaz suffers oppression and discrimination because of the color of her skin and the gender she was born as. Her father had old school beliefs of women and favored her brother because he was a man and she wasn’t. Meanwhile, her grandmother made comments on her skin and hair that are racist, which constantly kept Diaz down and not feel like she belonged in the family.
When it comes to her father, I believe he also favors the stereotypes for men. Similar to my father, I have a half brother that my father favored when I was a child because he could play sports, had more athletic body, and could be one of the guys. I was not any of these, which left me feeling similar to Diaz and wondering if I should even be with my family. What makes people think this way? Is there even a way to stop this way of thinking, or will it be passed on for generations forever?
In Fairest, Talusan is seen as special for having the hair and skin that Diaz’s grandmother says she doesn’t have. Talusan suffers differently than Diaz where she is seen as special but wants to be a part of the community (be “normal”) while Diaz is spoken to like she is nothing and wants a place to belong. Is there any similarities between the two? Why is it that white features is seen as better in both stories?
It is sad to know that some people grow up being compared to others. For Diaz to be compared to her brother by her father, I can feel the unjust she felt. It isn’t fair to compare her to her brother, more or less because she was a girl. Not only does it affect the self-esteem of the individual, but also the relationship you have with the person comparing you. I can understand how Diaz felt this sense of not belonging when you’re constantly being pushed down by someone close to you, and seeing that she didn’t even belong in stories or movies of the world outside the country.
Something similar goes on with Talusan as a young boy. Because she had white skin color, the children from her parent’s hometown found her abnormal. However, when she lived with her grandmother, everyone seemed drawn to her and loved her for her skin. With these two settings in mind, Talusan had also experienced this sensation of not belonging.
Hi Zoe,
As you said, beauty standards can perpetuate racism. I can understand how Diaz would feel insecure about her appearance and her background. The fact that the racist remark came from her grandmother makes it even more painful. Even with her closest family members like her dad, she feels as if she does not belong because she was a girl.
I think Diaz could sense that she was different in her family but she never knew how to address them with her family members. It was not common in her family or greater community to have this conversation. Instead, she kept these thoughts to herself. I think this makes me wonder and excited to know how she began to have healthy dialogues about these things with herself and with her family.
Hello, Zoe
You brought many valid points regarding the topics of sexism and racism. I appreciated how you creatively applied these concepts into the “recurring idea of belonging in your family”. Instead of just openly providing quotes and examples straight from the text without any context. I felt this gave the text a solid flow and direction for me to follow as the reader. Great job Zoe.
Hi zoe,
Your response seems to be talking a lot about the struggles Diaz dealt with in terms of belonging and body image as a female. Laymon also discusses similar topics. one thing that stood out and may correlate to ordinary girls is that he states that black boys were taught to harm girls and that girls could not harm boys. this makes me wonder about the family dynamic people are taught in families of color.