A now 18 year old college freshman Kiese Laymon navigates the world of mental health, race, sexuality, and the complicated, blurred relationships he has with his body and other people around him in the third section of his memoir. He talks about what it’s like being a black boy in a predominantly white college institution and how that impacts his connections with literature and writing, as he struggles to find a balance between staying true to his “Mississippi black boy” identity while also manufacturing a version of himself that is designed to keep white people comfortable. Contrary to his previous relationship, he finds himself in a relationship with a young black girl, with whom he develops a real connection with. However, Laymon spends most of his first year of college depressed, causing him to turn to eating in order to cope. Over the summer, he then physically exhausts his body as he feels his small body is more appealing, and less threatening, and he will receive the love from those he desires to be loved by.  

In this section of the memoir, Laymon seems more self destructive than ever. Not only is he aware of it, but he wants to remain ignorant to it as he wants to tell himself a lie like he stated before. He carries so much internalized trauma in so many areas of his life that he destroys himself mentally, emotionally and physically. For example, when a friend of Laymon tells him he might be suffering from depression, instead of acknowledging it, he stigma of mental health and the narrative that it is solely a “white people problem” He doesn’t even realize the emotional eating he does is a coping mechanism and how much he is destroys his body by eating until he nearly vomits, for him to over exert himself, by not eating and doing strenuous exercise to quickly drop the weight a few months later. How does one go from cycling between hating and loving themself so quickly and frequently and where do we draw the thin line between the two? The reading just made me disappointed more than anything to see yet another black man have so little value for himself. It’s sad to see the destruction of your own people when there are so many productive things we could be doing to save ourselves. 

With today’s social and political climate, it is arguably more important to be informed on various modern day issues that are faced by other communities, especially those that are underrepresented, and marginalized. I want to read Heavy, by Kiese Laymon in order to help others and myself enrich our understanding of the issues within the black community and the black experience in America. By doing so, it is much easier to better support Them.

Jennifer Key, an author who did a  detailed book review of the memoir Heavy (Kiese Laymon), and  highlights Laymon’s account of the plight of poor black Americans, specifically the challenges that Laymon faced in his adolescent, young adult years and young middle aged years. In the American memoir, it is explained how long held secrets can possibly destroy families, relationships and even his own body. There are secrets, traumas, and  within the black community that are so deep rooted from decades ago which are weighted so heavily on the black body and the African American experience. Laymon emphasizes that there is  actually no power in keeping secrets, and it is tougher to tell the truth because of the potential risks and challenges that follow. He eventually rose above, and freed himself from the shackles of the secrets and took control over them, instead of letting the past traumas control him. Key says that he really hones in on his family members, and their painful history and reveals the truth, even if risks the relationship with the ones closest to him. In an honest discussion of his life, he spares few details and explains how much his reputation and his place in society is affected by his honesty, especially in a world where black men are often ostracized and scrutinized for almost everything that they do. Even as a young black woman in America, I still do not experience a lot of what Laymon went through on a day to day basis. So although I have a good understanding of black culture, it is always insightful to listen to other people and amplify their voices. 

To begin, In an video interview with PBS, Kiese Laymon breaks down some of key topics of discussion in his memoir Heavy. He describes it as a letter, written to his mother with whom he has a complicated relationship with. Laymon reads a small passage in his memoir titled “Hulk” which describes the disciplinary beatings he used to receive from his mother, then he proceeds to question the effectiveness of this culturally learned behavior passed down through generations in the black community. Physical abuse was often seen as preparation for the real world, which is often kept quiet because of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” nature of the subject. Laymon reveals that he exposed a heavy secret by trying to end the taboo, and beginning a conversation about the matter. He is almost afraid of how white people will view black families, especially black women as he knows not everyone will understand the complexity of black women and how layered they are.. From here, he navigates the world of toxic masculinity, battling stereotypes and what it means to have a black body in white America. Laymon knows that not everyone, mostly white Americans, may not understand because they don’t go through these experiences, but that doesn’t mean we still should not respect each other just because it is an issue they may not be a person’s immediate concern. It may be difficult to understand the culture that has been passed down through several generations. But by reading Heavy, you can better understand how to be an ally, and not judge black families for the way that they run their households because a lot of issues are caused by the deep rooted dark history of African Americans. It allows readers to question how they can contribute to demarginalizing them.

In conclusion, the book review of Heavy written by Jen. Key gives a summary of what Laymon says he went through. In  a PBS interview, Laymon First hand account of what it’s like to be black in America. You can get to the real issues and recognize how much the history of this country and racism has embedded itself into African American households, and how we can collectively move forward and do better. 

In a video interview with PBS, Kiese Laymon breaks down some of key topics of discussion in his memoir Heavy. He describes it as a letter, written to his mother with whom he has a complicated relationship with. Laymon reads a small passage in his memoir titled “Hulk” which describes the disciplinary beatings he used to receive from his mother, then he proceeds to question the effectiveness of this culturally learned behavior passed down through generations within the black community. Physical abuse was often seen as preparation for the real world, which is often kept quiet because of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” nature of the subject. Laymon reveals that he feels as if he exposed a heavy secret by trying to end the taboo, and beginning a conversation about the matter. He is afraid of how white people will view black families, especially black women as he knows not everyone will understand the complexity of black women and how layered they can be. Despite the hardships, he says he’s learned not to hold resentment toward those who have inflicted such physical and emotional abuse onto his body and mind, and focus on the importance of being a better person tomorrow than he was yesterday. From here, he navigates the world of toxic masculinity, battling stereotypes and what it means to have a black body in white America. 

Public Broadcasting Service. (2020, August 1). Kiese Laymon on his Poignant memoir, “heavy”. PBS. Retrieved September 14, 2021, from https://www.pbs.org/wnet/amanpour-and-company/video/kiese-laymon-on-his-poignant-memoir-heavy/.