Author Archives: Demetrios Spiros Tzanetatos

Heavy: The End

“You are also my mother and I am your son. Please do not be mad at me, Mama. I am just trying to put you where I bend. I am just trying to put us where we bend.” page 241

After finishing Kiese’s memoir and reading the last line he wrote which is above I now know the purpose he wrote this book for his mother to read. It was not to degrade her on how she raised him or to show her all the mistakes she has done. He wrote this for her so they both can finally realize that in order for them to end the cycle they have constantly been on. They must first begin by being honest with each other. This was one of the most disheartening thing I came across when reading this book. The amount of times a mother would lie to her son and the amount of times a son would lie to his mother. These lies led to both of them to use each other for money, fear, etc. Even with all the lies and deception Kiese still loves his mother. He just wants her to understand where she went wrong and begin being honest with him. Only when that is accomplished can they finally grow together as not only family but as friends.

Who Am I?

“I wasn’t sure who I really was, but I understood where I was”. (Page 126)

Kiese now attending college begins to struggle with finding his own identity in a school thats filled with people who do not want to see him succeed. Having freedom away from his mother since she left for school he has to become his own man. In the beginning Kiese uses this freedom to eat an abnormal amount of food and gains a ton of weight. After reading this I felt as if Kiese was lost, and was eating his way out of his problems. It’s only until he is almost 300 pounds his friend Ray Gunn asked if he was depressed. This is a topic Kiese never thought about growing up however, it is something the reader can see. In school Kiese began bringing in multiple books that have nothing to do with the lesson to show his white classmates and his teacher he reads more than them. This goes back to the quote I chose where he said he did not know who he was but where he was. Kiese knew his teachers and classmates wanted to see him fail so he wanted to show them that he is not some dumb kid from Jackson. A major turning point I found in the text was in page 139 when Kiese grabs the belt his mother was beating him with and threw it down. This was the first time Kiese stood up for himself and did not just let his mother beat him. I believe this action begins to give Kiese his identity. He begins working out and losing a lot of weight, he even writes an essay about the racism at Millsaps college for a newspaper. Kiese begins to find himself as someone fighting back for the things he believes in.

Am I a sellout?

When going to a new school which is predominately white Kiese and some of his friends from Jackson go through multiple struggles. Its at this school where Kiese gets his first girlfriend who was a white girl named Abby Claremont. Their relationship was one that was not approved by either his or her family and friends. Kiese’s friend Lathon called him a “sellout” and a “sucker” for dating a white girl. And Abby’s parents did not approve their daughter dating a black boy. What I find interesting is that I believe Kiese knows deep down that their relationship will end badly however, he still wants to be with her since she is his first girlfriend. He knows this because he even stated on page 103 that since the time he started dating her he has become a liar, a cheater, and a manipulator.

Kiese is afraid of ending things with Abby because she claims she loves him. That is a feeling Kiese has desperately wanted in his life. The feeling of being loved by someone other than his mother or grandmother. Kiese’s mother however, tells Kiese the truth about Abby. That being that she does not truly love him but she loves the feeling of dating a black boy and making her parents angry. Kiese continues to see Abby without telling his mom but even he begins to see the cultural differences. This being when Kiese saw on the news a black man being beat up by white officers. Kiese did not want to open up to Abby because he knew she would not be able to feel what he felt.

HEAVY: Blog Post 1

After reading the first 62 pages of the memoir “Heavy” many things have stood out to me. For example, the whole memoir is being spoken to Kiese’s mother who he expresses as “you”. Being that Kiese writes about his trauma and pain in this book it can be foreshadowed that he never confide himself with his mother. Therefore, he is writing this story to her. I found it very interesting that in the beginning Kiese said that “I wanted to write a lie (page 1). He did not want to say what he truly wanted to say however, he does. Kiese’s relationship with his mother is a complicated one to interpret. In some points of the the reading it can easily be shown the love she has for him however, that love seems to vanish during some points. On page 4 Kiese even says “I realized that day we didn’t simply love each other, but I was your child”. While his mother’s love might not come from affection and kindness, she shows her care and love of her son in preparing him for the harsh realities of life the best way she knew. This being education and making sure Kiese has a laboratory to work with words.

Kiese’s relationship with his grandmother is very different than the one he has with his mother. She is much more caring and does not beat Kiese. He is able to speak and ask his grandma many questions which shows his comfortability to confide in her. Throughout all the trauma and pain he experiences as a child it can be said that his grandmother is his rock and helps him feel better.

“Heavy” by Kiese Laymon

The source I used in this assignment was from the “National Public Radio” website where writer Martha Ann Toll wrote about Kiese Laymon’s book “Heavy”. The title of this review is called “‘Heavy’ Brilliantly Renders The Struggle to Become Fully Realized”. The genre of this source was a review of Kiese Laymon’s memoir. This source helped me grasp a better understanding on the book I intend to read for this class. The source summarizes most of the struggles Laymon has faced and has put in his book. It talks about growing up with a single mother who was obsessed in making her son highly educated and would beat him throughout his childhood. It also discusses Laymon’s struggle with being overweight at a young age. However most importantly it is about Laymon becoming a man and battling through racism and abuse during his life and using that as fuel to become a better writer. I trusted this sources reliability as it comes from a trusted website in the “NPR’. Also the author makes her own summary and even puts several excerpts from the book and elaborates on them with added knowledge.

Link: https://www.npr.org/2018/10/17/657824190/heavy-brilliantly-renders-the-struggle-to-become-fully-realized

Toll, M. A. (2018, October 17). ‘Heavy’ brilliantly renders the struggle to become fully realized. NPR. Retrieved September 14, 2021, from https://www.npr.org/2018/10/17/657824190/heavy-brilliantly-renders-the-struggle-to-become-fully-realized. 

My Expectations

Dear fellow classmates,

When I enrolled into this course several months ago I did not know what to expect. However, after attending the first couple classes my expectations and excitement for this upcoming semester have grown. Firstly, I am excited to have some in person classes this semester. Due to Covid-19 the in person experience is something I have not yet experienced in college. For my expectations in this class I believe their will be many debates between each other as we try to break down each of the stories we read. I also expect myself to be enlightened into learning new ideas and opinions from my classmates and professor. Lastly, I expect my overall writing capabilities and my ability to break down text to be enhanced. All of these reasons have led me to be excited and optimistic for the future. I believe this course will help guide me in my future classes and endeavours.

– Demetri Tzanetatos